Attack of the Clones
"Heart-attack of the Star Wars-lover", more like

I finally saw Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the clones on saturday 22 june 2002. "Finally", cause the movie got a worldwide release and is in theatres since may 17 and I, a Diet Coke Star Wars-fan (err, not die hard was what I meant), still didn't see him.

It was three years after the last "Star Wars"-movie hit cinemas nationwide, so we (two friends, Willem and Simon, and I) were, needless to say, eager to see the next episode.

I got a "bad feeling about this" after the first scenes and indeed, I was all but satisfied when I left. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to explain exactly what was wrong, but the first word that kept buzzing in my head was "empty".

Episode II is of course a sixth of the complete story and the rough draft was written long before I was born (since 1975, I believe). Dissapointed by the course of things ... I could hardly follow along, because the events are told at such breathtaking speed.

Then there's the love for the characters, which is NOT present. I felt no affection for one single creature or human, except Watto. Countless critics broke Episode I down, but they seemed to forget that The Phantom Menace at least had some loveable characters (or animals). Qui-Gon Jinn, Shmi Skywalker, C-3PO, R2-D2, Anakin and Jar Jar Binks - each had room and time for tenderness and warmth.

What does Episode II have to offer?

- A rather annoying Obi-Wan Kenobi. Ewan McGregor is a good actor and he clearly did the best he could. But the screenplay/dialogues-writers deserve a good kicking in the face! Hayden Christensen, critically acclaimed for his role in "Life as a house", was brilliant. And by brilliant, I mean terrible. "Someday I'll be the most powerful Jedi". Good boy.

- An unexplained pace in storytelling. I posted these arguments on the forum of the Belgian Star Wars-fanclub, Teekay 421. I got a lot of negative feedback, but nobody really could answer my questions.

Why did Shmi have to die ? "So he could make the step to the Dark Side", they said. Right. Although Obi-Wan (in Episode IV) clearly stated "Vader chose the easy way to complete his training".

Why didn't Owen Lars recognize C-3PO en R2-D2 in Episode IV ? They did work for him and his father in Episode II. Is it a fault ... or will we find out, later on ?

There's a chance I'll appreciate and cherish Episode II, when he fits into the complete tale. I won't buy the dvd, although the special features are guaranteed to be interesting.

But I don't like the movie right now.

Julian De Backer, 22 august '02